If you’ve ever wondered how to take charge of your life, this article will help immensely.
There are many times in our lives when we feel we just aren’t making the grade or using our potential. But the worst thing to go through is the feeling that we are inadequate and will never do anything of significance on our own. We just can’t say to ourselves, “I have confidence in you.”
This lack of confidence can be crippling in many ways. It can even cause people to withdraw from society in an apathy that makes them feel they’re not as special as those around them.
In fact, they doubt their own capabilities so much that even when they do something special and others notice this, it is taken as nothing more than flattery.
However, there is a bit of comfort in knowing that we are not born with low self-esteem. Look at the young toddler as he runs about exploring his world, trying new things. No lack of self-esteem there! He has no concept that others are better than him.
In fact, this lack of confidence and low self-esteem is a feeling we accommodate over time as we encounter various environments that especially include people who would not hesitate to bring up our faults.
Allowing people and the environment to influence us in this way controls our self-image, our thoughts and how we live our lives.
So how is this comforting—to know we weren’t born with low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence?
You Can Be Confident Yourself
To begin with, knowing where a lack of confidence comes from gives you a place to start building your self-confidence and take charge of your life. You can be confident yourself this way.
Knowing that we are allowing others to influence our self-esteem and state of mind, and that we can do something about it, gives us a battle that we can fight and win.
This is how to take charge of your life!
What does it mean to take charge of your life, and how do you do it?
Here is a good place to begin that battle. How do you take charge of your life? What does this mean?
It means to be in control of who you have become and to take control of your decisions and choices in life.
“But what about the advice from other people? Isn’t this valuable also?” one might ask.
Yes, it might be, but listen to what they say, if you like, and compare it to your own personal goals. Make your own decision based on what you can use to help improve. After all, it is only you who has all of the data regarding your life and can use the full scope of that data in order to make decisions. Some advice and opinions may be inapplicable.
To take charge of your life means to define who you should be to survive well and not rely on other people for direction.
Children’s Place in Life
As your children are such a close and important part of your life, here is where most parents fall short when dealing with their children.
We know that it’s important to provide guidance to our children as they grow and develop in order to teach them how to take charge of their lives, be independent and trust their own judgment and capabilities. This is so important. But often, how parents go about doing this does not get the results they desire, and the influence of bullies on the street will often create a different result on the child.
So how do we raise our kids so they remain self-confident and have high self-esteem?
Let’s look first at the wrong way to go about this.
As parents, we are often over-corrective and controlling. From the way we speak to children, we can instill fear and doubt in them, which, in the long run, make them feel that they will never amount to anything without their parents’ direction or protection.
As they grow older, they struggle as young adults, trying to find balance between who they want to be and who their parents want them to be.
Children are individuals. They have goals and purposes of their own. They are not copies of their parents. They are not living for their parents.
One of the best lessons for parents to learn about parenting is to get rid of the desire to create another version of themselves in their kids. They need to get rid of the idea to make their children into what they themselves failed to be or achieve in life.
Another thing many parents do is they try to force on their kids something they regret not doing or didn’t follow through with. For instance, Mom wanted to be a concert pianist but never found the opportunity to put the time into such an endeavor. So she pushes her daughter to become one even though she wants to follow some other career path.
It will be easier in the long run to understand that children have their own interests, dreams and personalities, and how important it is to allow them to find their own purpose in life, by their own decision.
They will become independent and in control of their own lives, leaving you proud to have raised such self-confident, high self-esteemed individuals. They can tell their child, “I have confidence in you.”
But what about yourself? How can you take charge of your life? After all, you may have suffered the bad parenting we just mentioned or the influence of bullies as you grew up.
Well, all is not lost! You can take charge of your life too! Here is how:
- Know your purpose and set personal goals and boundaries. And believe you can!
Here is an important step in everyone’s life and will give your life meaning. Look at what you want to achieve in life. What is it that you feel passionate about? What is your purpose for living?
Knowing your purpose makes you unstoppable. No one can then take advantage of you, and you won’t be easily swayed by peer pressure. You will have certainty on where you are going and what your goals are in life. Your path in life will be laid before you crystal clear, and you will be able to identify anything that poses an obstacle to the attainment of your goals.
- Give people limited access to your life
Just because someone is family or friend is no reason why they should have access to your life.
Let them know you love and appreciate them but also that you are still your own person and there are boundaries.
Respect their lives, goals and purposes too. Don’t step into their lives and try to change them. Respect earns respect back. They are individuals too and have their own goals and purposes, and these are important to them in the same way that yours are to you.
- Develop inner strength
Inner strength comes from a positive mental attitude.
Fill your days with positive thoughts and actions. Control what goes into your mind. You might even stop listening to the news. Most is negative anyway.
When it comes to what others think of you and their opinions, realize they might not be a true reflection of who you are.
Listen politely, thank them for their opinions perhaps, but let their opinions slide off your back like water off a duck!
By doing this, you will stop taking their opinions and advice personally and understand that people have their own issues and different ways of dealing with them.
Learn how to identify opportunities and positive actions in difficult situations. One way to do this effectively is to write down the situation you are faced with, identify the specifics of that situation, then make two lists.
Write down what simple part of that you can do something about.
Then make a second list of what you have difficulty with in regard to this situation. On this second list, go through and break each item down more if you can to see what you can do. Might be as simple as just looking at it or gathering more data!
Eventually, you will know what to do to solve the situation and can follow through.
Do the same with mistakes you might make. We all make them, but they are no good to us unless we can learn something new from them.
By doing this, you will strengthen your willpower and self-discipline and can say to yourself, “I have confidence in you.”
- Get out of your comfort zone
And finally, embrace thinking out of the box. Get used to confronting life and its challenges.
Do what you need to do to establish your place in this world.
Grow as you find opportunities and become independent.
No more excuses! You can take charge of your life and can be confident yourself.
Others will say, “I have confidence in you!”